Should I go ahead and delete this tumblr since AyeenJaay 10/18/11 no longer exists..?
Hmmm.
I honestly don’t know what to say to you anymore. You had everyone worrying about you last night and it was going crazy. So many freaking people called me asking if I knew where you were. I thought something happened to you or whatever. You cant be doing that. And you saying “what does it matter to me” doesn’t help anything. Of course I still fucking care. After everything we’ve been through I’m not gonna care? Hail to the fucking no. I know that I was the one that broke it off, but you can’t blame me. I had a reason. I don’t know whether we’re gonna happen again or not. I don’t know if you would want me back, & I don’t know if I would take you back again.. This IS your fault.. & you know it. I wouldn’t have cut of 10/18/11 for nothing. But you pushed me to the end of my patience, and if I take you back.. What if you do it again…and again..and again. People will probably be hella mad if I took you back, but it’s my decision, not theirs. I DO still love you. And I DO still care. I wouldn’t have been going crazy looking for you if I didn’t. When we were on the phone last night.. You were breaking down & couldn’t stay on the phone with me. I don’t know what to do anymore. I just need time and space to figure out what I want and what I need. That’s all I ask. But what if I come back.. And you don’t want me anymore.. Then what.. I dunno. I guess we’ll see what happens next..
“I’m sorry, but. I have to be strong and leave you behind.”
-Tattoo
I turn my head when I’m crying because looking at you makes me cry even more. And you pulling my face up to yours didn’t help me at all. You were walking away & I called you, went up I you, & gave you my last kiss. Just in case we never meet again. Just in case we’re never together again. Just so you’ll remember the girl that gave everything to you.. You said you hate to see me cry like that. Well.. Don’t watch me. Or don’t make me cry like that.
-Angel
Mahal is going to Utah this weekend for his fight. I’m super excited. He’s worked really really hard and he wants a prize when he comes back if he wins. Lmfao. This guy.. We’ll see.
Then I’m moving by the 20th. Hooray, more work. Ay nako..
“You already know what time it is. Reach up in that dresser where them condoms is…”
LOL just keeding x]
I see someone upset and I wanna go help them but I know I can’t. Either we have beef or some other reason. I dunno. I feel bad and I wanna make them feel better. That happened today. I wanted to talk to the person even though we have beef, but I know that the person wouldn’t let me, yannoe? I get that. It’s fine. I just feel bad that there’s nothing I can do about it.
So honey be careful of who you give your heart to, because I’d hate to see you crying just like I used to.
